Jump to content
Engineer Boards
​ ​
DVINNY

FBI Job interview

Recommended Posts

A grizzled old Nebraska cowboy happened to make a rare visit to town. While there he always liked to enjoy a store bought haircut and a shave. His face was so deeply lined from the years in the saddle that getting a clean shave was almost impossible.

The barber being new to town told the old Cowboy not to worry and that he had the solution for that very thing. He said "take this small wooden ball and put it in your cheeks and that will smooth out those lines on your face".

The old cowboy did just that and was amazed.

"That is the best shave I have had in years he exclaimed, but what happens if I would have swallowed that wood ball?"

The barber said, "that's no problem, just wait three or four days and then bring it back like everyone else has."

  • fudgey 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My wife and I went to the Nash County 4H agricultural show last week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.

We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR '
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs .....Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice! A week ! ..........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

21317966_1779921195369365_62367040452847

Nice mouse. Wait...what did you think it was?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, jeb6294 said:

21317966_1779921195369365_62367040452847

Nice mouse. Wait...what did you think it was?

13151762_280352442305740_882268385861113

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt .

Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What in the world are ya doing, Billy Bob?"

"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob . "But me ’n the wife been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."

  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A driver was stopped by highway patrol around 2 AM. He was asked where he was going in the wee hours of the morning.

The driver replied that he was going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.

So the officer asked, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The driver replied, "That would be my wife."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? 

Ireland. Every day it's Dublin! 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, Supe said:

Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? 

Ireland. Every day it's Dublin! 

Get out Dad.

daduntsh.gif

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?





The food was great but there is no atmosphere.....

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Sending olive my prayers to the family. His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it. You never sausage a tragic thing.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What's the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with big boobs?

 

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×