Raccoons

I have had a recurring raccoon problem for years.  They **** on the roof, get inside the chimney despite a chimney cap weighed down by five bricks, tear up shingles around vents, etc.  How do I get rid of them permanently?  I am no longer interested in just killing them, I now want to inflict maximum pain.  I plan on spending time on the roof with an axe and ambushing the next one I see.  By the way they have no trees to use in getting on the roof, they are climbing the bricks and the downspouts.  To me raccoons are like giant rats and should be driven to extermination.

I got one of these for the varmits around our house.  It's a .22 air rifle, Umarex Octane.

Raccoons only stick around if there is a food source/lack of something that would bother them.  Best bet: become a nuisance to them.  Ammonium at the base of the chimney so scent goes up through the flue, maybe on the outside as well.  They also hate hot peppers, so a hot pepper diluted with water spray might help.  Maybe some of those weird critter pricker things (like for pigeons, only raccoons, but I can't say anything about how effective they are).  They're nocturnal, so they avoid well-lit paths and noise, since it potentially means a predator.

Or you could be very Machiavellian and send them a poisoned birthday cake on their grandmother's birthday for ultimate emotional devastation.

You have a lot of inside knowledge on how to piss off raccoons.

@RBHeadge PE We have a raccoon family that lives nearby.  We've signed a blood pact years ago and the feud has ended, but things do get a little tense during the summer when the corn starts growing.  *chews on end of hay piece and stares out across the fields*

Plus, you know, we still have the birthday cake incident which didn't end in poisoning, but blue frosting footprints all over the deck and windows.  Sugar-crazed raccoons are a delight to watch, but not to clean up afterwards.

I was told a long time ago to put hard boiled egg in a milk bottle, they reach I and grab it, and since they won't let go of it they can't get paw out. I never tried, maybe it will work.

Or you can put sugar cubes by a big pan of water, they will dip the cubes every in the water and it will dissolve, they never seem to figure it out.

Kind of funny because this post is going around Nextdoor this weekend - same thread title- lots of funny comments about “just let the animals be”



But this looks like someone left a cooler on their back porch?

The post got heated and was deleted before I could read all 345 replies...

I hate raccoons.

Road Guy said:

Kind of funny because this post is going around Nextdoor this weekend - same thread title- lots of funny comments about “just let the animals be”

But this looks like someone left a cooler on their back porch?

The post got heated and was deleted before I could read all 345 replies...

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Raccoons are a primary carrier of rabies.  Just think if one of those raccoons bit one of your neighbors' precious dogs.

from https://www.livescience.com/62985-baby-raccoon-rabies-treatment.html

Quote
Baby raccoons are cute. But if you ever see one, you should probably resist the urge to scoop it up and bring it home with you.

A woman in Colorado learned this the hard way when a baby raccoon that she brought home tested positive for rabies. Now, she and more than a dozen of her friends who visited the critter need to be treated for rabies.

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Here in Michigan raccoons (and coyotes) are in season 24/7/365 with no hunting license required. . . 

mudpuppy said:

Here in Michigan raccoons (and coyotes) are in season 24/7/365 with no hunting license required. . . 

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Same for possums, weasels & ferrets here in New Zealand. All introduced species to the region and are responsible for the extinction for several native species.

Possums were originally brought here to establish a fur trade but naturally they got loose and thrive in this environment.

Dexman PE PMP said:

Same for possums, weasels & ferrets here in New Zealand. All introduced species to the region and are responsible for the extinction for several native species.

Possums were originally brought here to establish a fur trade but naturally they got loose and thrive in this environment.

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Who the f- would want anything made from 'possum fur?!?!  Those things are nasty.

jeb6294 said:

Who the f- would want anything made from 'possum fur?!?!  Those things are nasty.

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Sir, do you have a few moments so that I may spread the word about the states of Tennessee and West Virginia?

jeb6294 said:

Who the f- would want anything made from 'possum fur?!?!  Those things are nasty.

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Different type of possums introduced from Australia (specifically Tasmania). About the size of a large cat.

Probably good with heavy salt and gravy...

Saw online that the meat was exported to a handful of southeast Asian countries as a delicacy. 

probably an upgrade from Dog....

JayKay0914 said:

Plus, you know, we still have the birthday cake incident which didn't end in poisoning, but blue frosting footprints all over the deck and windows.  Sugar-crazed raccoons are a delight to watch, but not to clean up afterwards.

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Sounds a bit like toddlers.

vhab49_PE said:

Sounds a bit like toddlers.

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Can confirm

vhab49_PE said:

Sounds a bit like toddlers.

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Toddlers are known to be carriers of rabies and eat garbage off the ground/trash as well, so it is a factual comparison.