ARE YOU A DEMOCRAT, REPUBLICAN, OR A REDNECK?

*Subject: **ARE YOU A DEMOCRAT, REPUBLICAN, OR A REDNECK? *

*Here is a little test..........*

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock 40 cal. and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Democrat's Answer:*

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Could we run away?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

*Republican's Answer:*

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Redneck's Answer:*

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click.....(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click .

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"

Wife: "You are not taking that to the taxidermist!"

DVINNY said:

*Subject: **ARE YOU A DEMOCRAT, REPUBLICAN, OR A REDNECK? *
*Here is a little test..........*

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock 40 cal. and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Democrat's Answer:*

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Could we run away?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

*Republican's Answer:*

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Redneck's Answer:*

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click.....(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click .

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"

Wife: "You are not taking that to the taxidermist!"

Click to expand...

True...

good one

MA_PE said:

good one

Click to expand...

A Dem would shoot him at his knees and then raise taxes for disabled veterans guarantees from foreign countries... :happy:

I responded prior to reading scenario, but it did not change my redneck answer.

I will jump in too.

From: Bin Laden, Osama

Sent: Monday, October 22, 2001 8:17 AM

To: Cavemates

Subject: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says

"Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I so we need to sweep the cave daily.

I've posted a sign up sheet near the main cave opening.

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks.

Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.

Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone.

Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.

Death to infidels,

Osama

Source: This piece aired on the NPR program "Rewind" and was written by Staff Writer/Producer John Moe

I was taught to shoot at least twice to ensure they're dead. One doesn't want two stories told in court. :happy:

MGX said:

I was taught to shoot at least twice to ensure they're dead. One doesn't want two stories told in court. :happy:

Click to expand...

Hilarious, but that's what all my cop friends tell me too!

Q.) Prior to Mary's post stamped 11:55 EST today, Sapper's post was April 3, 2007.

I believe that I got this post listed in the "View New Posts" listing before mary's reply.

Mary did you dredge this from the archives or did it show up as new to you too? If so. any idea why it was grabbed in the search without a bump post?

I still found it pretty funney though, asme as I did 2 years ago.

If someone votes in a poll (even if they dont post) it bumps it...

^Yup.

I see said the blind man as he......

D. Kephart said:

Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.

Click to expand...

That's hilarious.

MA_PE said:

Mary did you dredge this from the archives or did it show up as new to you too?

Click to expand...

It showed as a new post. I didn't even realize it was so old. Interesting.

****, I thought I was a Democrat until I read this. I guess I'm a mix between a Republican & Redneck. I'd empty the clip, but probably not reload...

I would like to know how he knew the subject was an "Islamic terrorist." Sounds like racial profiling to me...

DVINNY said:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Click to expand...

Where's the option for Lesbian Redneck? Needed in this scenario, with the wife and kids. I voted Redneck. Shoot first, ask questions later.

D. Kephart said:

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks.

Click to expand...

:lmao:

Shoot the rednecks first? :dunno: