Bad advice to previous poster

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Get him hookers & blow.

Who should I call about the drunk tweaker thats trashing **** in the back yard of my g/f's apartment complex?

 
Troubled teens.

Should I take an HSD at the hotel, or wait until after I eat at the training facility?

 
Go ahead and be the engineer you always wanted to be. You take that HSD while eating. Mass in = mass out. You know, conservation of mass!

What's the best way to handle the flat tire on my wife's car?

 
Room temperature, then suggest to him that his new energy conservation measures are really helping the bottom line.

What's the best way to ask my boss for a raise?

 
An entire DQ ice cream cake.

What should I tell a bunch of new-hires to get them all jazzed about working here?

 
Fridays are Luau theme...grass skirts and coconut bras are mandatory

what's the best way to find a new job?

 
Full-frontal nude photo as a cover-sheet to your resume

How should I find funding to finish my basement?

 
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