I got another date! - Remember VTE - Engineer Boards
Jump to content
Engineer Boards
Sign in to follow this  
Fudgey

I got another date!

Recommended Posts

After a couple years of striking out, the Fudgeman has himself another date lined up for this evening. I struck up a conversation while getting my car worked on with a lovely woman who works for an accounting firm. I went for it and asked her out, and to my surprise, she said yes!

We are going to some fancy new tapas place that opened up here recently. I'd be happy with pizza and beer, so it's trendy, so what the hell.

I've been putting in a lot of extra house lately, so I am going to take the day off. First thing I am going to do is shave everything from the waist down in case things get spicy tonight. I haven't had a date in a while, so the manscaping will take some time.

As some of the old timers here may remember, my last serious relationship was marred by one or two excretory indiscretions, so I need to find something for lunch that will really clean me out before tonight. You know, the classic pre-game dump! I would really prefer not to have any accidents around this gal. Any suggestions?

Also, what about flowers? Classy or pushy?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fudgey - you're a fiend around the ladies.

As for lunch, I recommend a corn and Maalox smoothie.

Also, don't leave the house with a loaded weapon.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've read your other relationship thread and an looking forward to actually being around for this one. I'm an EB noob, but I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say welcome back! As for flowers, I recommend gerber daisies; they're beautiful and fun but not over the top. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fudge Master, I would suggest drinking 7UP, or anything with lemon to protect yourself against excretory(sic) events. Also, and very important, check out VT's last line advice. That is very important, specially if you have not fired the gun in a while.

And by the way, let me introduce you to Krak...

Krak - Fudgey

Fudgey - Krak

I think you too would make a heck of a couple.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think a Fudgey Krak would be too pleasant...

Anywho, drink mad amounts of coffee this morning to flush out ye olde conveyor belt o' poo. And fire off a few rounds before the date as mentioned already. Sucks having to execute the "poner" at dinner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And no AC Slatering on the first date. If you have to go, use classic mode.

Fudgey - as a newly single guy with no prospects, I'm relying on living vicariously through you this summer. Make it happen!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome back Fudgemeister.

I would recommend that you eat a diet high in fiber today and take a laxative at around 2:00. Then at 6:00 you'll need to take two Immodium-AD. I think that will probably stop you up.

Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And I second VT's comment, no exotic stuff when using the restroom for the first 12 months of this relationship. Go to the bathroom, do your business (facing forward), and get out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome back Fudgeman... listen to the guys and do the opposite.

I miss Squish!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Chipotle or Qdoba burrito with extra spicy salsa. Maybe add a spoonful of the corn salsa too.

Welcome back fudge man!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome back Fudgey!

You can kill two birds with one stone and tweeze everything from the waist down instead of shaving. The pain will make you puke, and that should trigger some loosening action in a different part of the tummy. I tried this once, but couldn't stop sneezing. I don't know what it is with me and tweezers.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A light lunch should help. I would recommend cuttlefish and asparagus.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^ Yeah, definitely not the vanilla pudding.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fudgey needs no help in that department. He likes to share what he eats with his lovers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've read your other relationship thread and an looking forward to actually being around for this one. I'm an EB noob, but I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say welcome back! As for flowers, I recommend gerber daisies; they're beautiful and fun but not over the top. Good luck!

Gerbera daisies are my favorite.

Welcome back Fudgey!

You can kill two birds with one stone and tweeze everything from the waist down instead of shaving. The pain will make you puke, and that should trigger some loosening action in a different part of the tummy. I tried this once, but couldn't stop sneezing. I don't know what it is with me and tweezers.

Threading. Although, I can't imagine a brazilian would be all that pleasant with that technique.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So what'd you decide on for lunch? And don't forget the gerber daisies! At least one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...

And by the way, let me introduce you to Krak...

Krak - Fudgey

Fudgey - Krak

I think you too would make a heck of a couple.

Fudgey vs Tank Ass.... That could be a battle in itself.

Convention Discussion material right there

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...

And by the way, let me introduce you to Krak...

Krak - Fudgey

Fudgey - Krak

I think you too would make a heck of a couple.

Fudgey vs Tank Ass.... That could be a battle in itself.

Convention Discussion material right there

Potential HOF discussion right there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, as it happens all the time I was misunderstood.

Krak and Fudgeman are two single young engineers with a heck of a sense of humor. That is the only reason I said they would make a heck of a couple. I have known Fudgey for a few years now and kind of know how he is. Krak (was going to call her Tanky) is more of a mystery to me but so far I like her. She is funny as heck. Those two seemed to be the one for the other. If only Fudgey can control his excretory issues....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fudgey wins the battle.

Fudgey could be employed to make chemical weapons from what I've read. I would hope no woman on earth is capable of what he is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have yet to hear of a 5 gallon job-site bucket capable of handling fudgey...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...