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COLLEGE FOOTBALL 2011


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#501 Master slacker

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Posted 14 February 2012 - 05:50 PM

Unpopular BCS Crowns Alabama National Champions, Endorses Rick Santorum, Spits On World War II Veteran, Pushes Elderly Woman Down Flight Of Stairs, Wishes Osama Bin Laden Were Still Alive


NEW ORLEANS—During a postgame ceremony Monday in which the Bowl Championship Series controversially awarded the Alabama Crimson Tide the 2012 NCAA championship trophy, the increasingly unpopular selection system proceeded to endorse Rick Santorum for president; spit on Samuel Carson, an 89-year-old World War II veteran holding the American flag for the ceremony; and then kick Carson's wife Rose down the stairs of the trophy-presentation platform.

"As we present Alabama with the national championship—despite the fact that they just defeated a team that beat them in their home stadium earlier this season—we have only one regret: that our great friend, Osama bin Laden, could not be here to see this," the BCS's statement following the Sugar Bowl read in part. "Congratulations to the Crimson Tide football team. Also, the BCS hates blacks, Latinos, and Asians."

"And gays," it continued. "We do, however, love the Taliban."

In an announcement earlier this year that it would award the national championship to whichever team emerged victorious from the BCS Championship Game—blatantly neglecting worthy teams such as one-loss Oklahoma State—the BCS also called for tax increases on the working class, open-pit strip-mining in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, and the resumption of unrestricted whaling in the Pacific Ocean.
Moreover, the BCS said it supports Sharia law, hopes everyone gets cancer, and considered awarding the national championship to Notre Dame just to see the look on everyone's "stupid, fat-fuck face."

"Alabama, in achieving this victory against another SEC team from their own division, even though they did not even qualify for their own conference championship game, has shown they are true BCS champions," the organizer of five bowl matchups announced on its website Tuesday morning. "They deserve it more than anyone! Also, Adolph Hitler had some really good ideas."

With many critics saying this season more than any other has highlighted the problems inherent in the bowl system, BCS officials claimed that kids should always be struck with leather belts if they get even slightly out of line, and that arguments will always be part of the culture of college football.
"Debate over who 'deserves' the national championship will never die, unlike these tiny 2-day-old kittens I am crushing in my fists," BCS spokesman Charles Campbell said. "In a way, you can never really determine a national champion in college football any more than you can rape a woman who dresses in a short skirt and high heels. It just isn't realistically possible."

Defenders of the current system point to the fact that the BCS computer has numerically proven Alabama is the undisputed national champion, as can be verified in detailed documents that also reportedly refute global climate change, provide a workable economic plan based on a national policy of child slavery, and outline a solution for global thermonuclear war that would allow what it called an "acceptable" survivability rate of 9 percent for the East Coast of North America.

Still, anger and confusion over the BCS remain.

"Naturally people have a right to be upset with what the BCS has done here, between its picking Alabama, declaring the era of Japanese internment to be a shining moment in American history, and saying James Earl Jones should be murdered execution-style," ESPN football analyst Kirk Herbstreit said. "At the very least, it's time to tweak the system again."

"You have to admit," Herbstreit added, "any selection system that gives three-loss Wisconsin a top-10 ranking is absolutely detestable."

http://www.theonion....pions-en,27034/

#502 DVINNY

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Posted 14 February 2012 - 06:59 PM

:wv:
Schedule for 2012

Sept. 1 WVU vs. Marshall in Morgantown
Sept. 15 WVU vs. James Madison at FedEx Field in Landover, MD
Sept. 22 WVU vs Maryland in Morgantown
Sept. 29 WVU vs. Baylor in Morgantown
Oct. 6 WVU at Texas
Oct. 13 WVU at Texas Tech
Oct. 20 WVU vs. Kansas State in Morgantown
Nov. 3 WVU vs. TCU in Morgantown
Nov. 10 WVU at Oklahoma State
Nov. 17 WVU vs. Oklahoma in Morgantown
Nov. 24 WVU at Iowa State
Dec. 1 WVU vs. Kansas in Morgantown

#503 Master slacker

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Posted 14 February 2012 - 07:11 PM

So... what you're saying is... you foresee a winless ::wv:: season...

#504 FLBuff PE

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Posted 14 February 2012 - 07:45 PM

:wv:
Schedule for 2012

Sept. 1 WVU vs. Marshall in Morgantown W
Sept. 15 WVU vs. James Madison at FedEx Field in Landover, MD W
Sept. 22 WVU vs Maryland in Morgantown W
Sept. 29 WVU vs. Baylor in Morgantown W (No RG III for the Bears)
Oct. 6 WVU at Texas L
Oct. 13 WVU at Texas Tech W
Oct. 20 WVU vs. Kansas State in Morgantown W
Nov. 3 WVU vs. TCU in Morgantown W
Nov. 10 WVU at Oklahoma State L
Nov. 17 WVU vs. Oklahoma in Morgantown L
Nov. 24 WVU at Iowa State W
Dec. 1 WVU vs. Kansas in Morgantown W

I forsee a 9-3 season, but I am no prognosticator. I could be full of sh!t.

#505 DVINNY

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Posted 15 February 2012 - 08:39 PM

I say 10-2.

:D

#506 VTEnviro

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Posted 15 February 2012 - 08:43 PM

My college cancelled its football program in the mid-70s.

#507 FLBuff PE

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Posted 15 February 2012 - 11:21 PM

I say 10-2.

:D

Especially with the FUBAR at TCU.

#508 Boomer01 PE

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 03:58 PM

Our game on Nov. 17th in Morgantown will be a difficult one.

#509 FLBuff PE

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 04:02 PM

Our game on Nov. 17th in Morgantown will be a difficult one.

Make sure you dodge the burning couches.

#510 Chucktown PE

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 04:47 PM

I'm really glad I wasn't around for after the Clemson Orange Bowl debacle. DV would have had a field day with me.

#511 chaosiscash

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 07:06 PM

^He was actually quite civil. I got the feeling that in some small way, he felt a little bad for us.

#512 FLBuff PE

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 07:32 PM

^ Bless your heart.

#513 Road Guy

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 08:25 PM

its this time of the year when you really realize how much better life is when football is on....
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#514 Chucktown PE

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 08:57 PM

I really got tired of college football this year. Especially after Clemson started their regular shitting of the bed. I enjoyed watching professional football much more this year.

#515 DVINNY

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 11:44 AM

^He was actually quite civil. I got the feeling that in some small way, he felt a little bad for us.

:D

#516 cdcengineer

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 04:02 PM

March Madness is right around the corner.

The gub'mnt wouldn't allow us to go too long without our Colosseum style distractions from issues such as politics and taxes.

#517 Undertaker

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 07:06 PM

Forget about it.Y'll are going to carry my Buckeyes' equipment. National Champions in two seasons. You will see.

#518 envirotex

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 03:16 PM

So, it wouldn't be the worst thing to happen for the Penn State football program to shut down for a few years...but I would feel bad for all of the young men who worked so hard to get into the Penn State program. The coaches, not so much.
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#519 VTEnviro

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 03:39 PM

Slippery slope to go down. You end up punishing people that don't deserve it.

The thing is they are saying things were covered up to protect the program. If they just said, "This guy is a creep, we are going to fire him and go to the police." it would have just been one sicko that got canned. Big deal.

#520 willsee

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 03:45 PM

Fire the board of trustees

Let them play football...no one involved on the team right now had anything to do with what happened 10 years ago
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#521 Dexman PE

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 03:58 PM

Fire the board of trustees

Let them play football...no one involved on the team right now had anything to do with what happened 10 years ago

Agreed. The coaching staff has been completely pitted out, not a single player on the team had anything to do with what happened.

How do you punish for something like this? Everyone responsible (within the team itself) is essentially gone, and vacating wins does nothing. Perhaps hit the school with a fine. Something along the lines of requiring the school to pay for ALL athletic scholarships (at least the ones previously awarded through the NCAA) while still maintaining a certain minimum amount of scholarships.

#522 VTEnviro

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 04:03 PM

The parties involved in this matter are either incarcerated, dead, or facing legal action.

What is killing the program or instituting bowl bans going to do?

#523 Dexman PE

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 04:07 PM

What is killing the program or instituting bowl bans going to do?


Give the casual fan "closure". IMO, any sanctions from the NCAA on the school would be purely a political statement to the rest of the schools, but I don't think it would be a statement anywhere close to the one Sandusky already received through the legal system or Paterno through the court of public opinion.

#524 VTEnviro

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 04:15 PM

If anything is done as a political move, I'd prefer to see the Big 10 kick them out of the conference. You get your political statement, but don't punish the kids who just want to play football and have nothing to do with the transgressions of the previous administration.

#525 Dexman PE

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 04:20 PM

Article on ESPN had Nick Saban's solution: tax the program and have proceeds go to child abuse programs. Not sure how that would work, as any additional funds would adversely effect ticket sales (punish the fan), or cut into scholarship money (punish the current/future student-athletes).

Honestly, I think one good solution would be a civil lawsuit filed by the school against those responsible with any "proceeds" going to the same child abuse programs as Saban suggested.

#526 Kephart P.E.

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 05:12 PM

Slippery slope to go down. You end up punishing people that don't deserve it.

The thing is they are saying things were covered up to protect the program. If they just said, "This guy is a creep, we are going to fire him and go to the police." it would have just been one sicko that got canned. Big deal.


^^ Par for the course with the NCAA, in fact, they seem to NEVER punish those that really deserve it.

Case in point my hated in state rival, the whOregon Ducks. They basically paid a "street agent" $25k to steer recruits to Eugene, ...back in 2010. Yahoo Sports basically gift wrapped the entire case to the NCAA, now 2-1/2 years later nothing at all has happened with the case.

Why even try and play by the rules if the likely hood you will get caught is so small, plus the penalties will be so late in coming?

#527 Road Guy

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 05:30 PM

I am not up to date on who got fired but I am assuming the AD, School President, anyone hired by Petrino, etc all have been fired?

I would almost think the school deserves at least a one year suspension for all football activitities, I think not seeing them play for a year may help there cause..

#528 wilheldp_PE

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Posted 19 July 2012 - 10:25 PM

I have been thinking about this lately, and here's what I have come up with. The football players in the program that are not national contenders for awards (such as Heisman) are the collateral damage when a team gets the death penalty, or similar serious sanctions. But even they will get more playing time than they would have if the penalties had not been enforced. The national contenders will easily transfer to school that aren't being sanctioned. But these penalties are really the only way to punish the school effectively.

College football in big conferences such as the Big 10 get a TON of their operating budget from the football program and donors motivated by having a winning football program. That's why it devolved into such a mess at Penn State. The football program was bringing in so much money that the coaches, staff and players were untouchable. When you put sickos into a position where their motives and morals cannot be questioned, you end up with Sandusky. Giving the Penn State football team the death penalty will purge the scum AND make the football program fallible again. Future administrations will think twice before allowing known infractions pass for the sake of money if they know that they face such penalties from the NCAA.

#529 snickerd3

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Posted 23 July 2012 - 01:27 PM

holy cow!!! $60 million fine, 4 yrs ban on post season play, revocation of all wins since 1998...

#530 Supe

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Posted 23 July 2012 - 01:40 PM

They should have just gone with the 1 year death penalty.

#531 snickerd3

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Posted 23 July 2012 - 01:54 PM

amazing how one organization, not of the judicial system variety, has the authority impose such huge penalties...the suspension part I get, but the money...wow.

#532 mudpuppy

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Posted 23 July 2012 - 02:12 PM

^Didn't you know? That's what sports is all about money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

#533 Master slacker

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Posted 23 July 2012 - 02:13 PM

Wonder if Pedo St. is wondering if they really should have kept the whole thing covered up years ago...

#534 envirotex

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Posted 23 July 2012 - 03:38 PM

They should have just gone with the 1 year death penalty.


Agreed.

#535 Dark Knight

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Posted 23 July 2012 - 05:15 PM

Penn State deserves each and every penalty imposed by NCAA, and more. They failed to act but the real failure was they put football and the reputation of the university before the victims. Now look where they are.

But this is, I am afraid of, the tip of the iceberg. I am sure there are many more universities doing just that. Most of the major colleges put football & basketball, to mention the two biggest monsters, before dreams and aspirations of students that just want a chance to study and be a productive citizen. They cover up things as bad or maybe worst than the Sanduski crimes. The name of their institution is more important than any other thing.

In the name of entertainment colleges will tweak the requirements for students that can throw the ball 50 yards in the air, or run 40 yards faster than a speeding bullet. I remember when my son was a high school senior and denied admission to a major school in FL. Given, his GPA was not good enough for that but then we saw the football recruiting class for the same year SAT scores and GPAs and it was ridiculous. But that is the system we have. Now deal with it.

Finally I think that there is another guilty party here. The one responsible for the stupidity that makes a university like Auburn, pay a thief like Cam Newton thousands of dollars to play for them(do not make that face...it happened). It is the media; The ESPN, Fox, NBC, ABC and whatever letters you want to put there. They should pay a penalty too since they are as responsible for this chaos as Penn State and many others like them.

#536 wilheldp_PE

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Posted 23 July 2012 - 05:34 PM

revocation of all wins since 1998...

The only person that wins in that situation is Bobby Bowden.

#537 roadwreck

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Posted 23 July 2012 - 05:46 PM

Wonder if Pedo St. is wondering if they really should have kept the whole thing covered up years ago...

I think that's the point. The penalties need to be harsh enough to dissuade any other program from doing the same thing.




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