when insults had class

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my

husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the

gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said

Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -

Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great

pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the

dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading

it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of

it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar

Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a

friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is

one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -

Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -

Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -

Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.." -

Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar

Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support r ather

than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho

Marx

those are great!

Churchill was sure a witty fellow.

My favorite to quote is Ambrose Bierce, I love his book The Devil's Dictionary Anyway my favorites of his:

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.