WI State Fair Food Checklist (2017)

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knight1fox3

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https://onmilwaukee.com/seasonal/festivals/articles/state-fair-food-checklist-2017.html



Highlights this year


  • Buffalo Mac & Cheese Quesadilla *
  • Deep Fried Bacon-Wrapped Olives OAS
  • Bourbon Bacon Cheeseburger Sliders (you had me at bourbon)
  • BBQ Pork Chop OAS
  • Spaghetti & Meatballs Mozzarella Sticks *
  • Cajun Battered Shark OAS
  • Pastrami Beer-Brined Ribs (PBRs)
  • Deep Fried Pepper Jack & Bacon Mac & Cheese OAS
  • Wild Boar BLT Sandwich OAS
  • Great Balls of Fire Sandwich *
  • SPAM Fries
  • Three Little Pigs Bacon Ravioli *
  • Spicy Cheese Curds & Chorizo Taco
  • Deep Fried Fat Elvis OAS (there is also a Deep Fried Elvis OAS, but come on)
  • Fire Tots
  • Russian Imperial Stout Maple Bacon Cupcakes
  • Steak & Eggs OAS

Must-haves every year


  • Deep Fried PB&J Sandwich
  • Original Cream Puff
  • Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger
  • Cattleman's Association Ribeye Steak Sandwich

Extra credit


  • Chocolate Cruller OAS
  • Deep Fried Grilled Cheese Bites *
  • Cricket Nachos
  • Chocolate Covered Cranberries OAS
  • Crab Rangoon
  • Bacon-Wrapped Shrimp Tempura OAS
  • Unicorn Twinkie
  • Gyro
  • Falafel OAS
  • Corn on the cob
  • Salad on a Stick hahahahahaha
 
How about TUMS? I don't see TUMS on that list.

At least they'll have SPAM.

 
I haven't been to the WI State Fair, but I have been to the MN State Fair. It amazes me what they can put OAS.

 
fair+people.jpg


 
KF, did you get busted at the WI state fair?

There is a certain new story going around about two people having quite a bit of fun there.

 
KF, did you get busted at the WI state fair?

There is a certain new story going around about two people having quite a bit of fun there.
LOL! Saw that on the news the other day. No, the horse stable is probably the last place I'd pick for that sort of thing. I'm guessing this couple also didn't have kids tagging along with them.

 
Whenever I hear "State Fair" I can't help but remember the following:

Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast

Recently I was honored to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.

Here are the scorecards from the event:

CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced.

CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.

CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.

FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a **** thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like ****, to match my shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.

FRANK: (Editor's Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report).

 
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